by there will be fish

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a sort of greatest hits album, except with those songs featuring dysphoria. for a class project


released April 30, 2015



all rights reserved


there will be fish Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

an adult with a computer and a few musical instruments.

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Track Name: coming out, an introduction
there’s a girl with
facial hair
but she laughs while
they all stare
cause it’s a sin but
she doesn’t care
she has nothing left to lose

as a kid she
was a boy
playing with all the
girly toys
and her father tried hard to
crush her voice but
her emotions prevailed

still, at night, she
lies awake,
chokes on tears, her
stomach aches
her breasts have gone to
another place
please give her some drugs

when stars reach from
above the clouds and
monsters creep from their
closet shrouds and the
maidens fair cut their
ribbons out
what a travesty.

no apologies for this
seething rage, not a
call for keys to my
fleshy cage, not a
passing phase
nor a coming of age—oh!
i was meant for the stage.
Track Name: prayers without malice
why have you forsaken me again 
why do i have to follow your fucking plan 

i didn't choose my path 
i won't succumb to wrath 
but for envy i can't say the same 

i never asked for this 
i never wanted this 
i never wanted to be who i am 

well, i repent for all my sins 
i refuse to let you win 

i don't know what i am 
i don't know to react 
to the things i'm prone to feel 

so i just take it back 
i don't know how to act 
i just know that it felt kind of good 

please, please 
don't let this be 
depression again 

cause i know 
i will never know 
love like you did 

i know, "never 
say never", 
but i did. 

so please 
go away.
Track Name: bring back mom jeans

I see you there 
such a pretty stare 
disheveled hair 
like you don't care 

three hours of sleep 
you're in too deep 
you sow what you reap 
but you're too cheap 

(bring back mom jeans) 
show off them childbearing hips 
and your lovestained lips 
I just wanna take a dip 
in your mom jeans 

how do you survive 
the incessant cries 
and your bloodstained thighs 
that I idolize 

(bring back mom jeans) 
this denim labyrinth 
your catacombs of sin 
and the chrysalis within 
within your mom jeans
Track Name: honey baby darling
honey, baby, darling, 
mommy is here for you. 
honey, baby, darling, 
your nightmares will come true. 

Janus, Janus, Janus
help me pass the time. 
I hope you never forget 
that one day, you will die. 

honey, baby, darling 
the future's looking grim 
honey, baby, darling 
god's dead and we killed him 

Charon, Charon, Charon,
take it all away. 
drown me in the river 
I've got no fare today 

hold me by the ovum 
and dip me in the stream 
you'll stab me in the stomach 
when a child's smile gleams
Track Name: if a rabbit can do it, then so can i
I stood out in the rain
my feet frozen with pain
but I don't mind because I got you lovin me
baby you're all that I need

cigarette smoke on my teeth
my skirt down to my knees 
but that's okay, and although they may laugh at me,
my hair will flow in the breeze 

i saw a man on TV
telling me he was a she
and now i know that these feelings inside of me
aren’t something i should hide deep

like when i was a kid
wearing my mom’s lipstick
they laugh at tootsie, but now that don’t bother me
cause baby you make me feel (like a natural woman)