why do you only snapchat me when you're drunk

by there will be fish

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about

last of the scarlet years was supposed to be my last album as twbf but
oh well

credits

released March 2, 2015

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

there will be fish Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

an adult with a computer and a few musical instruments.

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Track Name: honey baby darling
honey, baby, darling,
mommy is here for you.
honey, baby, darling,
your nightmares will come true.

Janus, Janis (Joplin), Janice (Goralnik)
help me pass the time.
I hope you never forget
that one day, you will die.

honey, baby, darling
the future's looking grim
honey, baby, darling
god's dead and we killed him

Charon, Karen (Orendorff), Karen (Mapes)
take it all away.
drown me in the river
I've got no fare today

hold me by the ovum
and dip me in the stream
you'll stab me in the stomach
when a child's smile gleams
Track Name: nothing i'm thinking is making sense (variations on a weezer hymn)
I wish I
was sober
I wish I never smoked or drank
I wish I
was straight edge
I wish I never touched that dank

I wish I
had never
wanted to kill myself for months
I wish I
never cut
my wrists or thighs or stomach

all my cuts go up and down the
street
all my enemies are the
elite

i wish i
could go back
to when i actually could think
i wish i
could go back
to when i didn't need a shrink

i wish i
didn’t have
my life set out for me at birth
i wish i
could change my
breasts into something of some worth


all my friends are turning into
boys
all my thoughts are turning into
noise

all my dreams are turning into
pain
all my blood is going down the
drain
Track Name: life is ruff
hello friend, how ya doin'?
i was wond'rin' if you were free tonight?
I've been feelin' rather shitty
and i think it's better for me
if i wasn't alone tonight

hello friend, how ya feelin'?
i hope you're doing better than i,
you see i've been feelin' pretty shitty
don't want to bring you down wit' me
but i don't think i can be alone tonight

don't want to feel alone tonight
don't think i should be alone tonight
don't want to kill myself tonight
Track Name: why do you only snapchat me when you're drunk
broken hearts
broken bones
when'd it start?
where'd it go?
i've never felt so all alone
i've never felt so not at home

empty glass
silent phone
not at class
not at home
you've never been so all alone
you've never been so outta control

"but if you fuckers wanna take me alive, then the wait is over
and if you fuckers wanna take me alive, you can't take me sober"

why'd you leave?
where'd you go?
your shoulders are
cold as stone
don't wanna die all on my own
i'm worried sick, please come on home

please don't drink
please don't smoke
please don't leave
me alone
you're always drunk, i don't condone
you're always drunk, please come on home

"but if you fuckers wanna take me alive, then the wait is over
and if you fuckers wanna take me alive, you can't take me sober

i got nothin' to hide, i got nothin' to lose,
i got nothin' on my mind that i can say to you
and i won't 'pologize, no i won't say the truth
i got nothin' in my stomach but this 80 proof
(nothin' in my stomach, nothin' in my stomach,
yeah nothin' in my stomach but this 80 proof, yeah)"
Track Name: i need to be needed, i don't want to be drunk,
taste this breath in your mouth,
and see how precious it is
I trap these words on my tongue;
don't break the sacred silence
pretend you're fucking alright;
your stomach's in the toilet
I just can't take any more

just hold my hand while I sob
I swear I'm gonna be fine
just hold my hair while I puke
that's where I'm drawing the line
just hold my head while I sleep
or I won't live through the night
let Bacchus cradle me

I don't know what to feel
I don't know what to say
I don't know what you're thinking, it can't end this way
I don't wanna be drunk
I don't wanna be drunk
I don't wanna be drunk for the rest of my days

please just leave me alone
so I can finally cry
please give me your cigarettes,
I really could use a light
please, no more tears will I shed,
my eyes are tired and dry
i really hate myself

i can't believe you did this
what the fuck did i do
to deserve this kind of treatment
yes, i am talking to you
i now know why you only
snapchat me you're drunk
because that's all the time

I just wanna be safe
I just wanna be high
I just wanna be somewhere quiet tonight
I don't wanna be drunk
I don't wanna be drunk
I don't wanna be drunk for the rest of my life
Track Name: disdain for the mundane
i’ve got a disdain for the mundane
it’s monday
i’m restraining all my thoughts and my pain
no second chance
and i can’t take it back

i’ve got a death wish, a goodbye kiss
for my list
i’ve dismissed all my problems that existed
long ago
and i’m not coming home

la la la

when i was sixteen i had a dream
to be seen
and fame seemed like a redeeming
fate, now i’m well aware
that it’s cold up there

now at eighteen i am afraid
of everything
and bein’ swayed by the frontier of reality
i’m terrified
but i don’t want to die
Track Name: nothing i'm sensing is making thoughts
I can hear you over the noise in my ears
I can think you with the blood in my brain
I can taste you forcing the soap in my mouth
I can feel you boil the blood in my veins

and when the moon is high
and the feelings right
I will hold you tight
and tell you all the things you make me feel

and as I hold your hand
I think I understand
why you left me and
why i'm still sitting here

I can smell you over the pills in my nose
I can cut you reaching your hand in the sink
I can see you under your hair as you hide
I can feel you taking your finger from the ring

and when I’m feelin’ high
and the moon is right
I will call you up
and tell you how you used to make me feel

and as I watch you go
as I envisioned so
I can drown you out
and tell myself that this day isn't real
Track Name: too anxious to
I am so all alone

I am too anxious to go outside
I am too anxious to sleep
I am too anxious to stay inside
I am too anxious to eat

I am too anxious to hold my head up
I am too anxious to blink
I am too anxious to hold your hand
I am too anxious to think

i am so all alone

i am too anxious to open my eyes
accept this world that you see
i am too anxious to call the doctor
and get the help that i need

i am too anxious to be anxious
i am too anxious to...
i am too anxious to be depressed
i'm too depressed to go on

i am so all alone
in this worldly existence
what have i to blame?
i am so all alone
it's my own fault,
i did this to myself,
hang my head in shame
i am so all alone
where am i?
where am i going?
no reasons left to lie.
i am so all alone
what am i?
what am i doing?
what have i to hide?

i am too anxious to talk to you
i am too anxious to flee
i am too anxious to just exist
i am too anxious to be

i am too anxious to stick to this fucking beat
i am too anxious to sing
i am too anxious to catch my breath