your road to nowhere leads to me

by there will be fish

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about

a short, somewhat-concept album i wrote in my free time about a girl who probably could live without me.

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released September 12, 2012

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there will be fish Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

an adult with a computer and a few musical instruments.

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Track Name: a mental hospital is a terrible place to laugh at a passing thought
and here i am again
at the start of another end
at the inception of demise
another heartache patched with lies
but are they lies or are they truths?
there’s no deny, there is no proof
my flannel heavens on the beach
he dares me, still, to eat a peach
i deny its taste, though my lips are loose
and my beard is wet with its sappy juice
how i hide in shame from its cyanide pit
and i long to drown in a lake of shit
why are there no trees from which almonds grow?
how do i escape from the undertow?
and if i do, still! i escape, to where‽
i have tried a peach, what is next? a pear?
and vegetable flowers growing out from your veins
as my rooted arm closes leeching pure, bloody rain
i drink thorns from the roses that rest deep in your thighs
and eat sweet summer tomatoes growing out from your vines.
Track Name: your road to nowhere leads to me
your road to nowhere leads to me
i'm no good for you but you're the one for me
your road to nowhere leads to the sea
so come take a swim and you can drown with me

i'll try not to alarm you but
the pace is picking up
you smile when i look at you
and you almost know my name

and i don't know if you've heard or not
but i really love your face
you think that i am joking but i really mean it

i'll try not to alarm you but i think i am in love
i don't know if you can hear me but
i hope you're doing well

and i don't know if you care or not
but i'd love to hear you sing
with my name inside your holy throat
we can just try again

i'll try not to alarm you but
i don't think you exist
you're a fragment of a fractured bone;
a figment in my head

i don't mean to alarm you but
we're just not meant to be
as much as i would love to love you, you
would be brought down with me
Track Name: improvisation interrupted (it wasn't really going anywhere anyway)
ooh ooh ooh
you and i
will never be
together
but i know
that you
love me too
and perhaps
with the combined
forces of our love
we can make this happen
for once i
am hopeful
in my life

i hope you know that when
i look at you i think about our life
and how it will be in twenty years
and how our life
will be together
not just our lives
it will be one thing
because we will be together
even though i said earlier
that that will never happen
but i know that it will even
if it wont because
in my head everything
is real to me

and i hope that you understand
everything i'm saying to you now
because i won't able to explain it to
you at a later point in time
because everything only makes sense
once in a lifetime
to me
because i don't understand the words i say
but i hope you do and when you listen to this
i mean if you listen to this

and you will listen hard and know
everything i'm saying
because i don't know what i'm saying...

do you have a tide to go stick?
noooo.
because i spilled the grape stuff.
OH NO NOT THE GRAPE STUFF
you know what i'm talking about though?
yeah i-
Track Name: the pastry chef that loved an aspiring astrophysicist
i look at you, and you smile.
i don’t know why; i cannot see inside your head,
thus i can only imagine what thoughts
resonate throughout your mind
as your eyes glance towards mine.

could it be that the idea of me
invokes happiness in you?
no—it couldn’t be.
it must be that you find my face,
or the expression upon it,
somehow humorous.

i have a poor reputation
for making first impressions,
but it seems this time
i have succeeded in
impressing you.
but will it continue?

how will i,

(walking into the attic
with a plate full of cookies,
tapping on your shoulder and
drawing your attention away
from your telescope,)

ever compare with
these beautiful balls of gas and dust
millions of miles away,
and the way they twist and turn
and burst and form
and die and are reborn?

my romantic, poetic vision of you,
who dies inside from feeling so small,
kills herself in a stagnant river.
i sit in the water inside her lungs.
i am alone; her blood
slowly begins to overwhelm me.

but this isn’t you, and will never be.
Track Name: my greatest wish in life is that one day i will be sad because of you
it’s empty here, without you, love
it’s cold and quiet too
i’m wrapped up in a blanket
with a book left here by you
i smell you on its pages and
i feel you in its spine
and i wonder why you left me
and if you were ever really mine
and i still vacuum your empty room
in the hopes that you will ever return
Track Name: a happy ending, if only in my dreams
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