I'm feeling better than I ever did before I picked myself up off the floor and shouted to the heavens, "I could live forever!" I was keeping myself up late at night hiding from demons. in my fright, whispered "there's no way this can last forever." but I don't wanna talk about anything much less my deepest anxieties in the form of anything else but this song and you don't want to take your damn medicine and you won't tell me what it is that makes you so afraid of everything and I wish that I could make it up to you that I could make it up for you but I cannot find the words to say but I don't wanna talk about anything much less my deepest anxieties in the form of anything else but this song and you don't wanna talk about anything much less your deepest anxieties in the form of anything else but your rage everyone needs a therapist every now and then everyone needs some medicine every now and then and we haven't spoken in three years but you're a tryhard to kill yourself so I think it's a perfect time to break my swear but this one’s not even for you it’s not even about you it’s about letting go of broken bones and i don’t give a fuck about anything much less your deepest anxieties so i’m going to sit right here and write this song I’m sorry no i’m not but i want to be no i don’t but i’ve got to be if i’m a man of god i’ll forgive my sister but how? when i just think of you lying there i want to kneel down and say a prayer that he’ll take you; better now than later and you don’t give a fuck about anything except your deepest anxieties and now i’m better off than you ever will be everyone needs the hospital every now and then everyone needs some solitude every now and then and i don’t want to talk about anything much less my deepest anxieties in the form of anything else but this song everyone needs a therapist every now and then and you don’t give a fuck about anything much less my deepest anxieties ... everyone needs some medicine every now and then

the husks of eleven waning moons fill my soul, not leaving love much room. i only cut my nails to ravished her in the back of her car or 'cause i've finally exhumed the corpse of my guitar. five fingers sharp to destroy five fingers dull to create when i told you the truth, you forgot, didn't you? god be mine i don't know how to pray but i do know your name i feel shame i've been gone a long time can i kiss you one time? why don't you love me? this is dragsville, where have you been? you were eternally young but you forgot the words i sung. north dakota, born and raised, what's even out there anyway? why should i write you a song if i don't even know your age? i may not have a dick but my heart tastes the same i feel shame it's your eyes that i love it's your hair that i love not your name and your voice i love too my perception is skewed you're not him he's been gone a long time can i kiss you one time? why don't you love me? this is dragsville, where have you been?

has anyone told you there is a world inside of yours? has anyone told you there is no point in closing doors? has anyone told you a pile of leaves could be your home? has anyone told you i'll be wherever you roam? at the camp where i found you there was a purple fog at the camp where i lost you there was a perfect dog when you angered the captain we shouted "Fire!" to the skies the drugs shattered our judgement and we believed their beautiful lies in the dark you are a boat following lights to find your way home and i don't even know your name is it jell-o? or is it marmalade? and now that i know you i'm even sure of it myself we've got the whole future we'll put our pasts on the shelf has anyone told you you've got a soul to clear the skies? has anyone told you to never look me in the eyes? i thought you were lilies i could have sworn you were mine have I ever told you i fell in love with your mind? i wanted to hold you to protect your precious feet but how could you ever love little old two-chord me?

i poured myself a glass of rum in fear another day would come full of sober mind and thoughts and all my work would be for naught i lay in bed and tried to sleep and happy thoughts began to creep into my head, out of my bones i wish they would leave me alone who am i supposed to be without these drugs inside of me? will i be a better man and love me more than vodka can? i cuddled up next to the beast i scratched his back, he kissed my cheek i fell asleep next to his warmth and left my drink, full, on the floor

whenever i’m hungry i go straight for the bottle to drown it out cause when my stomach’s empty it takes so much less to knock me down to break out of this self destructive cycle you’ve got to reduce your use and recycle i guess you could say i’ve been teetering back and forth on the edge of a knife i’m afraid that i will be teetering for the rest of my miserable life get a real job, please go get married to tell you the truth i’d rather be buried in the ground there’s more to life than this, or so i’ve been told a thousand times before but i can’t reach it from the spot where i passed out naked on the floor there’s more to life than this they told me you’ve gotta do something more they scold me i guess you could say i’ve been teetering back and forth on the edge of a knife i’m terrified that i will be teetering for the rest of my god-given life “you’re gonna regret this when it’s over” to tell you the truth i’ve never been sober in my life i haven’t taken my medicine in three weeks what the fuck is wrong with me? they’re the only things that keep me from hanging by my neck from a tree the threat of an atom bomb couldn’t faze me when i’m fighting a nuclear war almost daily i guess you could say i’ve been teetering back and forth on the edge of a knife i guess that i just will be teetering for the rest of my natural life i guess you could say i’ve been teetering back and forth on the edge of a knife i’m afraid that i will be teetering for the rest of my miserable life

there's something in the air that i can feel there's something in the wind that makes it real there's something in these prayers that God won't hear it's something that the moon has known for years i've lately found my mood's not up to par but things don't always stay the way they are and things aren't as they were some years ago when i still wandered hospitals alone somewhere out there there's a home built for all of us to own take me with you into town buy us both a wedding gown somewhere out there there's a hole built for each of our souls take me with you out to sea and come and drift away with me ahhhhhh come take me by the hand my darling dear i'll keep you ever safe and ever near i'll cater to your every whim and plea but only if you do the same for me there's secrets deep inside all of our hearts in places that we hide away from harm in deep and dark recesses of our minds i only ask that you don't look for mine chorus ahhh

i didn't eat today and i don't know why i want to waste away and i want to cry but it's okay to be hungry sometimes i took another shot or maybe it was four this vodka's all i've got i wanna hit the floor but it's okay to get shit faced sometimes i had twenty bucks i needed food and gas but who gives a fuck i bought another glass i'd rather starve than be sober sometimes i couldn't sleep last night and i sure know why cause i'm full of fright and can't calm my mind but it's okay to feel restless sometimes and in my waking dreams i watch my loved ones die and i can't stop their screams from inside my mind but it's okay to feel like this sometimes and when i close my eyes they are full of blood smeared with guts and gore it feels like a flood but it's okay to think like this ...right?

i took my medicine for the first time in what feels like forever i've been smiling at strangers more and more my jokes are more clever but when the last drop empties out am i the same man i was before? can i finally get up from the spot where i've been writhing on the floor? i haven't had a sip of vodka in what feels like forever but if i drink a box of wine instead is that any better? this life is a teeter-totter, yeah you're the sea and i'm the saw how long will i be on top of it and how long until i fall off? i'm afraid i'll be teetering up and down for the rest of my life how long until i come back down? please god let me off of this ride