We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

sick and tired of waiting to die

by there will be fish

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.

    comes with a 7-page pdf with lyrics and pictures of my dog, in reverse chronological order.
    Purchasable with gift card

      name your price

     

1.
2.
hey why don't you stay a little while why don't you say a little while why don't you stay hey hey why don't you wait a little while why don't you wait a little while why don't you wait and it's a great time to be here because you've come at a great time to be here there is nothing behind my words there is nothing behind the noise stop hiding behind the words because there's so much you can say without saying anything why can't you hear anything when everything is so quiet why can't you see anything when the fog is rolling in why can't you hear a passing thought why can't you see what i have fought why can't you see anything because nothing will ever be the same
3.
my guitar is out of tune and i don’t know what to do when the feedback has all died away and i don’t know what to say i met you once in a dream and i don’t know what i’ve seen and i don’t know what to say but i say it anyway you are the out of tune sting in my life and i can’t do a thing about it you are the missing link you are the dirty sink you are all that i’m not and when you call my name every night it’s the same and every day when i wake up our empty bed, your empty cup and every time you speak my words that i have left you in your purse i hope you save them every day i wish that you would appreciate all of the things i’ve learned to hate so i could see the beauty in life through you i wish that i would just die so i could see your crying eyes and suffer every mistake i’ve made and i wish that you were a line so i could lose you in a rhyme and speak your life through my own words
4.
oh god oh god please don’t let it happen don’t let her get a hold of you don’t let yourself forget at all that you mean nothing to her you are nothing more than just another man will you let her in will you let her use you is it worth it to have something you’ve always wanted even if you know the whole time it’s a lie oh god i’m willing to try… i’ll invite you over we’ll go downstairs we’ll play a song or two and then we’ll sit in comfortable silence until we run out of things not to say and then what will happen? will it go slowly will we take our time or be rushed into the darkness by the creak of a door will you jump on top of me forcing your tongue between my teeth with your knees outside of mine your virginity is a force to be reckoned with or will i sit there on the couch as you subtly slide your skirt up revealing your cuts naked, soft and sickly sweet as i glide the blade down the contours of your stomach and the blood glides down the contours of my throat
5.
them all (free) 03:00
let’s go out in public! let’s pretend for a day that our lives are all normal and we all are okay. let’s go out in public where we can’t shed a tear, where we can’t cut our wrists, and we can’t live in fear. let’s all go to the mall like we oft used to do; let’s buy nothing at all and spend our money on food. we’ll be so fucking happy and forget about life… till we look at our arms and remember the knife, and remember the cut; oh, the sweet scent of blood! and remember the taste of my prescription drugs. and remember that, hey! life really does suck! and our career’s going nowhere and the future is fucked. then we’ll be standing there (the world outside has stopped) in our terrible lives, the illusion has dropped.
6.
you are everything. i see you everywhere. i hear you here, i feel you there. you’re in my bones, you’re in my hair. you are my skin, you are my teeth (although they grind while i still sleep, you’re in the air, you’re in the air). your voice, like smoke inside my lungs, invades the air (pervades the air), but do not let your tragic speech lay hands on her. speak, hands for me. you are; the dust, that flies out my mouth and lingers cold in settled rounds and pillars, forms upon my eyes: my charon’s fare for my demise. and pavarotti, pavarotti stiller be than heaven’s gate like papageno. papagena, lay me down, your souls I keep inside my mouth, inside your hollow tinny brain that hides the doors, i can’t escape, i can’t escape; my kidneys are my tragic flaws. you’re in the air while i grow old. you’re in the air i feel on my ankles for i grow old with the bottoms of my trousers rolled. you’re in the air although i do not breathe through dreams i wish i still could fall asleep.
7.
my god i forgot you existed i had pushed you away from my world i was done and the pain stopped its flowing and i was ready to lie down for the night but then you had to come trudging back in with your death and your dying and such and god when did i stop looking for the things that i never knew i lost maybe it all does lead back to a single thing but god the cuts were never so deep why did you come back into my life i had forgotten how much i missed you it’s a shame, really truly and honestly so cause i ’m so sick and tired of missing of missing all and every thing and every one, at that and fuck me i can’t even bear to stand for this shit that i’ve piled on top of myself why did you have to just get up and leave why i am asking you why why did you leave me oh why did you go why did you just get up and die?! this just isn’t fair! i was doing so well! i was off of the drugs and the pain but just as you were bereft of my heart you, slamming the door, came back again
8.
ideations 02:41
is there someone i can love now is there someone i can be cause everyday i hate who i will be yesterday and mourn who i was tomorrow is there something in the water is there something in the air is there some way we can end this is there something we all share is there something that connects us is there something that we need is there someone who can help us is there somehow we can plead is there somewhere we can go to is there somewhere that is safe is there somehow we can end this why oh why’d i lose my faith everyday i hate who i am and who i was and who i will and who i won’t ever be and i won’t have to sleep tonight cause i have your memory to haunt me
9.
10.
oh wow oh god oh man does life get any better than this it’s two in the morning and i’m sitting on the couch with my twelve year old sister watching the jerry springer show there are no drugs in my system there is no dextromethorphan there are no hallucinogens there is no oxycontin there is no alcohol there is no pain life doesn’t get better than this at all why didn’t i try this before why didn’t i just try to live life how did i miss this all along it’s so simple where did we go wrong
11.
--- don't wake up ---
12.
neocodia 05:16
butterfly oh you better fly away from all of this butterfly i better fly away from your poison kiss shaking pollen dust off your wings to fertilize the egg that is my heart shaking pollen dust off your lashes to better see the pain you’ve caused i’ll be the worry stone in your pocket if you’ll be the worrysome pebble in my shoe i’ll be the one you come to whenever you need me if you once just let me hold you butterfly oh you better fly away from the fleeting light butterfly i better lie awake for another night shaking pollen dust off your wings i realize you are no butterfly shaking pollen dust off your lashes i realize you are a butterfly of the night i’ll be the worry stone in your pocket if you’ll be the worrysome pebble in my shoe i’ll be the one you come to whenever you need me if you once just let me hold you butterfly oh you better fly away from my reaching grasp butterfly i better fly away from your loving gasps shaking pollen dust off your lashes and onto mine i see you in my sleep shaking pollen dust off your wings i dream about the setting sun i’ll be the worry stone in your pocket if you’ll be the worrysome pebble in my shoe i’ll be the one you come to whenever you need me if you once just let me hold you
13.

about

recorded may through june 2012, using my yamaha keyboard, my general electric cassette recorder, my guitars, and garage band. my first 100% serious attempt at making music.

although none of these songs are about him, this album is dedicated to my dog, edwin, who, much like myself, waited far too long to die.

credits

released July 3, 2012

all words and music and sound by phil garcia.

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

there will be fish Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

an adult with a computer and a few musical instruments.
see also: IAMFYNE.bandcamp.com

contact / help

Contact there will be fish

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this album or account

there will be fish recommends:

If you like there will be fish, you may also like: